Billy Keels  0:00  

How I found fantastic focus in life when things shifted. Today's episode is sponsored by Billy Keels advisory services. If you want to learn more about how to make your 99 optional, just go to make it optional.com. Once again, that's makeitoptional.com. How I found fantastic focus in life when things shifted is this episode is for anyone who has ever felt that things started to go a bit out of control with any dynamics in your in your personal life, in your professional life, and because things in your life has started to shift. This is something that happened to me, and it is something as I reflected on it, I need to make sure, especially if you are a high achieving corporate exec, which you are, that you realize that you're not alone. Because one of the things that happened for me in life right around the age of, I think it was like 3536 something like that. At this point in life, I was continued to be a high flyer. I was traveling around the world. At this point, I'd already been to just over 60 countries. I was at a point where I was I was dating, and in my dating life, my girlfriend and I, it was very easy at the time. Date nights. We could have date nights whenever we wanted, because there were no kids. We were still boyfriend and girlfriend. I could go to the gym, and if I wanted to stay at the gym after work for two hours. I could stay there two hours. If I wanted to stay there for three hours, I could stay there for three hours. And then guess what, I could actually go right after that and go meet up with friends if I wanted to, because the next morning, I was back at work. And the other thing is, is also too, at the office, things were so different. It was so easy, because if I wanted to work a 12 hour day or a 14 hour day, I could work that 14 hour day and not think anything about anything other than work. Time was on my side, and I could do anything and everything I wanted to do. I could work as much as I wanted to, and it was never, ever, ever an issue, because one of those things that would also happened is I wanted to keep being a top performer. I was somebody who was a high achiever. I was somebody who was recognized. I started to be a part of the promotion processes. I just had a I had a new job. My team performed successfully over the last couple of years. And there was a, there was a new opportunity that was going to be not far in the horizon, which was going to give me an opportunity to to move. Actually, at this point in my life, I lived in the United States, and I wanted to take a one year sabbatical, so I just asked myself, and I just said, All right, I'm going to leave the US. I'm going to move to France. When I got to Paris, Paris was going really, really well. Achieved the things that I wanted to do, the three goals that I'd set out for myself, that I know I've talked about in other podcasts. And then, you know what? I had an opportunity to move from Paris to Montpellier, and I didn't have to check in with anybody. Didn't ask, because I made the decision, the decision, it was up to me. I came up with the criteria. And so then I had an opportunity to leave Montpellier, France, to move to Italy, to call you. I moved there, a professional opportunity build up a sales team had triple, you know, triple digit growth. I grew the team three times the size, and so it was amazing. But guess what? Didn't have to check in with anybody, didn't have to ask anybody. Then I went from there, back to Montpellier. Moved in, lived in Montpellier for a while, and then things started to change from the professional life, and started having more of a focus. And wanted to move to Barcelona, Spain, because at the time, my girlfriend was living there, didn't want to move back to France. And I thought, Wait, you know what? Why not so move to move to Barcelona. But what I say? And I say that because at that point in time, all of the decisions were about me, what did I want to do? Where did I want to go, how much did I want to work, and did I want to continue to be a reference point at the office? Absolutely. I was in a new job, as I said, over performing worked as many hours as I wanted, do all the things that I wanted, but at the same time, I started to feel that there was this whole thing that I wanted to continue to be comfortable with the choices that I was making and be able to focus on what was important. And I say that because what I talk about is how I found the fantastic focus in life when things started changing, when things started shifting. Because there's a before and there's an after. So at this point in time, it's like I said, 3536 probably 2008 and all the jobs that I wanted, I was able to do the jobs because I wanted to, and I didn't have to think about anybody else. But right at this point in time, I had an opportunity to lead a I was at my new enterprise software company and working for someone else, of course. And at that point in time, there was an opportunity to move to Dublin, Ireland, and so for the first time in my life, something shifted. The decision was no longer just about, hey, listen, this is a great professional opportunity. I want to go. I want to move. This makes sense for me professionally, because now it was about me and my partner at the time, my girlfriend at the time, and you know what, she didn't really want to go. And so. So I was like, All right, well, I don't blame you for not wanting to go to Ireland. This was something that I wanted to do. But hey, you know what? Things started shifting and it wasn't the right decision for us at that point in time, and right not long after that, then guess what? Decided to move, continue to move down and become even more serious. Got married, and so realizing that marriage was on the horizon, wanted to then that was a new shift. And then there was also right after that, wanted to be able to have children. And we're very, very fortunate to have children and have two beautiful children and very healthy children. But with each change in life, whether it was me moving to to now live with my girlfriend, or be there with my girlfriend, and then eventually get married and then eventually have children. Each one of these moments in life created a new shift. And so as these shifts began to happen, I had to realize, okay, well, now what is actually happening, and how did I make the most of these particular opportunities when the world was shifting, it was no longer about just me making the decisions, doing the things that I wanted to so I reached out, of course, because I'm a very curious person, and I wanted to find out from other people who maybe not exactly the same as me, but were in similar situations, other people that were expats that had been living abroad, or people who had been married for a lot longer than me, or who already had kids, and just get their feedback and get their understanding of how life will change. Very similar way that I'm sharing with you now, even if we've never met. My goal is that this is helpful for you, so that you realize that you're not alone. But what I did is, after I took all of those different conversations, I wanted to sit down, and I realized as I sat down that something had shifted. This was now, even though I was going through it, I hadn't stopped. And this is really what's really important, is that you have to stop reflect on what's happening and then create your plan. And so what I realized was for the first time in my life, after marriage, and the second time in my life that the decisions weren't just about me, it wasn't about work, first, then myself, and then figuring out family, because this was what I was going through. This was what was happening in my in my mind, and also too, it was a really difficult thing for me, constantly conflicted, constantly feeling like, well, hang on a second in the past, I used to do it this way, but now I'm doing now. I have to take other things into consideration, because I wanted to be the responsible head of household, and being able to be there for be there for my wife, be there for my kids, be there for my boss, be there for every single person. But I was the one who was the one who was exhausted and constantly spent, and so I realized, like and what, one of the reasons you're listening is, how did I find this fantastic focus in life when things started shifting? Well, I started to realize that I was operating under an old paradigm, because now I was married, now, I did have kids. Now I did want to continue to perform at the office. But the thing is, the way that I've made decisions in the past, which was about me, first, was about work. Now there was a new dynamic. There was a family dynamic. And so the way that I found this fantastic focus in life. When things shifted, was changing, my paradigm starting to realize that, you know what, I couldn't I couldn't get back to where I was before, because it was no longer just about me. You know, I was all over the place at first. I wish I could tell you this was something that happened and it was super clean. No, it was messy, which is also why I'm sharing this with you. Because I want you to know that if it feels messy, if it feels like you're inside the thing, you're exhausted, you're spent. Because Have you taken a step back? Have you stopped to say, are you operating under the most recent paradigm? Because you know if you If life has changed, and whatever, for me, it was marriage, it was having children. For you, it may be something else. Maybe you're moving across the globe, and you have this opportunity and you want to do things differently, you have to operate under the paradigm in which you're living. It's okay, because I can tell you, I found the fantastic focus once I realized that that the paradigm was different, that something had changed, and I needed to understand and walk within the world that I was living in, where I was then be where my feet were at that point in time. And once I did that, and I gave myself the grace to accept that things had changed, the paradigm was different. Oh, man. Then I was able to focus in. I was able to lock in and understand what was actually happening. And most importantly, through this process, I understood that each season is going to require an adjustment to the way that I operate, to my modus operandi, because when I can be where my feet are, and I can understand. Know where

Billy Keels  10:02  

I am now and where the priorities are, it's okay to understand that your priority will change in life, because your season in life has changed. And so maybe it was before it was just about you and it was about work, and because you're that reliable person, you're the person who wants to be everywhere all the time. Let me, I just want to share something with you. You cannot be everywhere all the time. I struggled for such a long time because I tried to be everywhere for everyone and do everything for everyone. The person that suffers the most is going to be you. So be okay. Give yourself the grace to say, Hey, this is a new season of life. You're here today, and that may be for a couple years, and it's going to be, you know, you put maybe, for you, the thing that you want to do is you want to put your work first, or you put your family first, or you put yourself first, but just be okay with understanding that that's where you are in the season in life. Because once I figured that out, I understood this season was going to require something different of me, and I was okay with that. I learned to be okay with it. I had to go through some feelings of discomfort emotionally, but eventually I got there. And so I want you to get there sooner rather than later, which is exactly why I'm sharing this episode with you, because how I found the fantastic focus in life when things started shifting was exactly what I just told you, and so maybe you need to adapt that a little bit. But that's the basic principles, understanding where I was at that particular point and now continuing to understand where I am at seasons in my life. That's how I can continue to find focus, and that's how I stop feeling like I'm out of control, feeling like I can't get my head around what's going on, either personally or professionally, right? And so that's why I'm sharing it with you. And so if you have ever felt like that that you started to lose some of the control of what was happening in your professional life and your personal life, just remember, what season are you in? Ask yourself the question, what season Am I in? What is needed of me? Where do I focus and put your priority and focus on your priority for this season of your life. It's okay, all right. So with that, and if this is not you, but you know somebody that is a family member, a friend, and they are struggling, and you see it, because normally it's a visible thing, they're feeling overwhelmed. They're feeling all over the place. Share today's episode with them, just a simple click, share it over with them, and if you care even more about them, follow up with the call what they think about the episode. You can even talk to them. Maybe it opens up a door of communication for the two of you. I would love to be that conduit to help the two of you open up new communication. And you know what? While you're doing that, guess where I'll be? I'll be right here preparing for the next episode. So until then, go out and make it a great day. And thank you very, very much. Today's episode is sponsored by Billy Keels advisory services. If you want to learn more about how to make your 99 optional, just go to make it optional.com. Once again, that's make it optional.com. Free.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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