Going Long Podcast_Episode 447

Thu, Aug 15, 2024 12:03PM • 12:59

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

talk, working, starts, recognize, provider, niece, protect, struggle, overflowing, nephew, billy, status symbols, moved, share, boundaries, requests, extended family, upper class, reliable, continue

SPEAKERS

Billy Keels

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Billy Keels  05:00

To be in the position because they've given you the support, whether it be financial, social, life support, mental, physical support, and you are now in a position where you recognize that, hey, listen, it's time to be able to give back. Because now you're you're bigger, faster, stronger, sort of speak, and you're the person who is also the reliable one. You are the one that anybody and everybody can now go to. They've helped get you to a certain point, and now you're there. You are someone who is able to extend, not or provide, not just for your own family, but for your extended family. Now, right? You're starting to feel what I'm talking about. So you've gone from the person who was protected, who received the sacrifice, received the benefits of the sacrifice that your parents and your grandparents made for you, and now you're in a position to be able to give back. You're the reliable one. You're the provider, and you're moving on in those everyone looks around you and looks at you and says, Wow, you know what you are. You are now the standard. And so it's even one of the things that I talked about, I think in a recent episode. I think it was episode, maybe it was somewhat 445 but it was when I talked about disconnect from work. But do you feel this sense of responsibility, right? But, but anyways, let me, let me not digress too much. It happens easily, as you know, but because you start to feel that this is the sense of cheer moment to be able to get back. You're the responsible one. You're the provider. You're the provider. Like most times, you can also get inundated with requests and needs for help, so sometimes you need to sit down and just create your plan, like, what are you going to be able to do? Are you going to continue to do the work? Are you you're going to move to to be able to get the job, to have more status symbols, all of these things, because the more that you dedicate to working, the more that you're also going to attract more requests. But the thing is, you're going to get to a point where, yeah, I mean, you're the reliable and people are going to come to you, not just for financial request, but also, hey, listen, I want to make a life decision. Can I get some of your time? Can I pick your brain? Can I get a half an hour? Can we send my cousin, my niece, my nephew, to talk to you about this and that? And what I want you to realize is that it may be helping to help someone to pay a bill, or it may be extra advice for your niece or nephew. It could be even, you know, sometimes, and it's happened like you've got to help other family members. You're pitching in money into helping to pay for a funeral, right? I know that that's happened to me. So it's all of these different things. And as you start to want to continue to excel at home. You want to continue to excel at work. You want to continue to be there for everybody in the extended family. It can be a struggle, because you make it to a point where you feel like, wow, hang on a second below. Why is everybody coming to me? Why can't somebody come to somebody else or go to somebody else? But what I'm here to tell you or share with you, is that, first and foremost, been there, done that. So I feel like, like I said, I talk to people about this constantly, because this is something that comes up. I didn't realize it was a thing, but I knew that I was going through it. And now that I talk to people a lot on that come through LinkedIn, as I mentioned to you before, maybe people you want to talk about this through the podcast, like there's a way for us to be able to talk about it. You're not alone. Yes, your bank account may be overflowing at the same time. Maybe the thing that's the most important that you're still on the search for, or in search for or in search of, is, how do you protect your time? Because at the end of the day, that's what causes the stress. Because you don't have enough time you want to be able to help more people, especially when it's your family or close friends, but when you don't feel like you have control over your time, that's the thing that starts to really create the struggle. That's the thing that starts to create this sense of unease because you want to do more, you just don't have the time to do more, and a lot of that is because you're still strapped to your job, and your job is a part of your identity. You have allowed that to be a major part of your identity. Like I said, been there, done that. So I'm not just speaking out of out of nothing. I've been there, done that. Here's the thing that I want you to remember, what whether your bank account is overflowing, whether you are starting to recognize that there are other people that have been there, done that. There are things that you can do, some of which I've started to share with you already. But most importantly, what I want you to also recognize is that once you're able to control more more of your time, one day, you may need help, right? You've always been the reliable one. Don't forget. But you were protected. You were sheltered. Early on that allowed you to get to a point where now you can help others. And although you've moved into another social class, you've never forgotten where you came from, which is phenomenal, and never forget that you may also need help one day, and as you're continuing to help, remember it's a privilege. To be able to help others, it's absolutely a privilege. To be able to receive the recognition from others is also a privilege, and it should be perceived as a joy, not a burden. And there will be times when you have to protect your boundaries, and there will be times when you will have to say no, because it's like being on an airplane. You can't be at the detriment of yourself, because if you don't put it on your own face mask first, you can't save anybody else. And so in order to save yourself, to be able to help others on another day, you will have to learn to also draw the boundaries and know when you can and when you and when it's best for you not to help, because you may need to help on another day. And I share that with you only to say that you're never going to forget where you came from, because that's where you came from. There's also a group who has gone through very similar trajectory as you have. You started lower middle class or working class, and you've moved up, and now you're upper class. Maybe you've created this amazing business, and you're even into the mega upper class. If you can say that, obviously, I'm not there yet, so I don't know what that what, how you actually even say it. But anyway, I want you to remember you're not alone, and so understanding how to overcome these struggles when changing social classes, it's part of it, recognizing when you're not alone, there are others that have been there walked a similar path, recognizing, because there's others that have been there, done that, that you have a group people that you can reach out to, you can talk to, as I mentioned before, I've talked to people all the time from on LinkedIn. This is another way. Now, hopefully we're able to talk through through the podcast, and if you have things that you want to talk about, if you've been through a similar kind of experience, I'm always open to learning, open to sharing, but remember, it's a privilege to have this recognition, and it is a joy, not a burden, to be recognized as someone in your immediate entourage or family members. That is someone who can is perceived as someone who can help others. So be that provider while you're here, even if you know of somebody who's going through this similar kind of a struggle, share the episode with them today. Talk about it, let them know they're not alone. You can even share you're the person that's bringing this new insight to them. I'm going to be here. I'm going to be working on more episodes. I'm going to be working on another episode. I'm another episode. So until then, I want you to go out a great make it a great day, and I want to thank you very, very much. Today's conversation was sponsored by the Billy keels advisory program. If you're looking to make your nine to five optional and need some help, just go to Billy keels.com forward slash advising once again, that's Billy keels.com forward slash advising.

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