Going Long Podcast_SOLO Episode 446_Billy Keels

Thu, Aug 15, 2024 12:20PM • 14:51

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

moments, sales, happening, disconnect, day, summer, uncle, share, realized, started, work, family, vacation, learn, boundaries, struggle, felt, corporate, present, promotable

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Today's conversation is sponsored by the Billy keels advisory program. If you want to learn more about how to make your nine to five optional, just go to Billy keels.com forward slash advising. Once again, that's Billy keels.com. Forward slash advising.

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00:13

The truth about struggling to disconnect from work. This is a topic most people either are too afraid to talk about, don't want to talk about, want to kind of put your head in the sand, pretend like it doesn't exist. But this is a reality for anyone who is a high performing

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executive small business owner. And there is literally a truth about struggling to disconnect from work, whether it's corporate, whether it's you've got your own small business, this is something that affects anyone who is like it's gonna affect you because you want to continue to move forward. You want to continue you still are in that process of work. Is the validation that says, okay, because you're doing this work, it makes you a more responsible, a more reliable person. It's one of these things, and why am I talking about it? Well, because I've been there, and it's one of the things that we need to address, because it is real.

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01:14

Those of us who enjoy working and making an impact, there is a constant struggle to disconnect from work, right? And I want to set the truth, talk about the truth throughout, about this struggle that's happening to so many of us. And I want to share

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01:30

a story, because this is one of the stories. This is a little bit of a,

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well, it's not a little bit, but this is a, really a personal story. But I just want to be able to make the point that this is something that all of us can learn from. It's something that I definitely learned from. And I just want to let you know that you're not alone

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at the same time. Once you start to recognize that you're having the struggle, you may not fix it or win the struggle every single time, but there are moments, and if you can learn from somebody else's moment, then I would prefer you to not have to go through any of the heartache, any of the pain that you can actually get to the point of being able to be more aware of how you can disconnect from work without going through the pain. Chances are you're going to go through some of the pain, because unless you go through it yourself, it's difficult to make the change at the same time, one of the best things that I've ever learned is to learn from other people's mistakes so that I can do my best to avoid them. And so that's the reason that I want to share this story with you. Because around this is the summer of 2014 I just gotten into a new, new role. I transitioned from where I was in a in a remote sales leadership position into now carrying a bag on the front line. That's a sales speech, but since so many of you are already in sales, but that means I was actually the person doing the selling, and I was gifted a really

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nice gift, a nice sale as soon as I got started. But like anything else, like this is

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it's a gift, they say in Spanish, in beninado. So it's, uh, it's kind of like one of these gifts that keeps on giving, but not necessarily in the right way. So I had a this is summer 2014 I just changed into this new role. I was in my very early 40s. Just turned 4041,

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actually. And so I was

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early on in my side hustle as well. So this is the time kids are still young. I'm doing this successful role. I just moved in so I could go higher up the fast track and move faster up corporate, my side business is starting to take off, you know? I'm getting to my goals much faster than I had anticipated. So life is pretty good, you know? And at the same time, that summer, I was going home, I have an uncle of mine who was not doing well. He was he was having, he was suffering from from cancer. And so that was one of the things, being able to go home, be able to spend some time with him, being able to invest time with him, I should say, and my aunt, and being able to be there, it was like one of these things, like all these different emotions, bringing the young family, young family home, being able to see my uncles, and time with my dad, my brother, my mom and sister and everybody, and stepmom, all this other kind of stuff. So it was, there's a lot of different emotions that were going on. And so at the same time, this gift that I got from my corporate role, it was a really big sale. And at the same time, there were some problems, because with software, you get the software you get the software and then you have to implement, you have to make the software work. Well, there was a problem going on with that one. And so all this time, like in my the thing that I wanted to be able to prove to other people was that I can make this really go from sales leadership into sales, but in a field sales capacity, be able to show that I knew what I was doing and everything was going to work really, really well. And at the same time, I wanted to be able to show to myself and to my, I guess, my family at the time that I was promotable, and I could really take on the challenge. And I could, you know, I was the guy who was Mr. Reliable and was going to continue to move up the chart. But

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as I got home, so I went to the east coast of the.

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United States that summer, and I realized that there was a lot of different things that were happening. So I have these properties. I've flown into the area where my properties were. So I wanted to see my properties. I wanted to be able to have time with my with my kids, at my wife at the time, and be able to share that with the family that was in the US. And also be able to have more quality time with my uncle and aunt who'd flown in. And so all of these different things were happening. So many different areas buying for my time, my own young family, my external family, my parents, brothers, sisters and uncles, aunts. So all of these things are happening, but at the same time, there was a problem that was happening with the implementation of the software, or the usage of the software that had just been sold, right a couple months before? And so the thing is, is I knew that I wanted to maximize my time, and so fortunately, it was a six hour time difference. It was vacation, and I was working on vacation. Big no no, by the way, but I was doing it. And so that's why I'm telling you, it's hard to disconnect. So I'm on vacation. I'm working and working, trying to get this issue solved. But my idea was, I had this really great idea. I had this plan. I was going to split up my day. I was going to get up early in the morning while everybody was sleeping in the US work with and help, because I felt like I had to be there, because if I wasn't there, things were going to happen properly. But the idea was to split up my day. But what happens? What typically happens, the mornings bled into the afternoons because things still weren't done. Clients weren't happy. We had to get things fixed. The implementation partner was having issues. And

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all in all, I wanted to be there. I wanted to be present, but the reality was, I'm not a technician. I wasn't a consultant. I wasn't the type of person that could actually get things done, but I wanted to be present. I felt like I needed to be there. And because of that, the things that I wanted to do, and namely, I talk about investing this time, specifically here with the story I want to share with you is, is, is the time that I had that I wanted to be able to invest with my uncle, because I was working in the day, working in the afternoon. I wanted to get more time, but every day, it was taking, like an extra two, two and a half hours. And so the thing that happens is, and the reason I want to share this with you is because when I get to the end, you'll understand, if you can learn from somebody else, you can avoid making the exact same mistake like this happened to me once, and it radically changed the way that I did things after this point. Right? You notice that there are these big moments in your life that really have an impact on you, but if you can learn from somebody else's, which is why I want to share this with you, you can avoid some of the heartache. And so,

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as I was constantly conflicted, because I had extra hours every day that I was on my laptop, I was on my phone. I was trying working to connect people. It was also the summertime in Europe, so there weren't as many people around. I was in the basement of my dad's place at the time,

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and I was spending a lot more time trying to fix a problem from a corporate and I was feeling this internal struggle because I wanted to be with my young family. I wanted to be with my uncle, with my dad. And the thing is, and if you're listening to me, you understand exactly what I'm talking about, because you felt it. It's in this pulling in your stomach, and you're like, I I just want to disconnect. I don't want to worry about what's happening at the office. And so what I realized is I wanted to

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create. Because eventually what started happening is I realized we was getting down to the last couple days, my uncle being there, and I realized that I had given too much time to a situation that I wasn't fully in control of, because I wanted to be present everywhere.

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What you start to learn and what I want to share with you is eventually you become what you want to understand is that you push and you create, and you you create the boundaries that are important for you to create your present when you can be present. And the thing is, you can't be everywhere all the time,

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especially if you're a perfectionist, especially if you're someone who is used to getting things done all of the time, you're everywhere. I'm telling you from experience, sharing with you from experience, that you cannot be everywhere all the time. You have to be very

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correct, well, calculated in the way that you're using your time like the because the thing is, is that, yes, when the summer went through, I lost days in the beginning of the summer, but as we got towards the end of the days, I started realizing, like, I can't fix every single problem. I could help to connect certain people. And so there were on one side, I looked back on it, and yes, I was able to help to connect to certain people. It was great because the client that I was working with was happy because I was there, not just in the sale, but also when, the when the when the who hit the fan, as they say, and at the time,

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you know, I wasn't even.

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With my young family at the time, as much as I wanted to, much less my uncle, who was going through a health crisis.

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But what happened is that the last couple of days, I started realizing like I'm never going to get these moments back.

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10:16

So whereas in the beginning I felt like I was giving too much time. Towards the end, I started realizing like, Hey, listen, if I do everything that I can, because this went on, I was back in the US for three weeks. This was probably like the first six or seven days of a three week trip, like so a third of the trip.

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10:35

But what I realized over time is, hey, listen, I'm never going to get these moments back. I don't get this time back. It were made. It reminded me of kind of what happened when my when my oldest son at his third birthday party. But I needed another reminder, like, Hey, listen, yes, I want to be in you want to be the person who gets things done at work. And this is one of the struggles, because you want to do things at work, but the goal at the end of the day is

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you will never get the moments back. And because you are already a high performer, someone who achieves all the time, be very clear with the boundaries that you set, and when you are clear on the boundaries, and this is what I started doing every summer after that is being crystal clear. Like, hey, listen, I'm on vacation.

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And for you, it may be something else. It may be when you're leaving the office in the evening, but when you are gone, your boundaries are set. But don't just set your boundaries. Make sure that you reinforce them, right? So

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recognize number one, that you never get the time back. You never get the moments back, even today. I know that, and everybody who knows me and is close with me when it when I'm with my kids, that is the thing, like, don't worry about calling, don't do any of this kind of stuff, because I'm with my kids. That's the commitment that I made after 2021

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I was with my family. Now I'm with my boys and so and here's the big thing, right? And here's what we tend to forget, especially when you're in a big corporate environment, the problems are always going to be there

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every time, because that's the business that you're in. You're in the business of solving problems, so just remember, respect, establish your boundaries, respect your boundaries,

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and the issues will still be there anyway. And when you're really focused on the issue, you're going to be much more not just efficient in the way that you solve the issue, but much more effective, because you're giving it more focus, more energy, more time, right? So I just share this with you, because I did enjoy those last days right the end of my vacation, because it was like, hey, look, I'm putting my laptop away. I'm not going to be doing this anymore. I'll check it for an hour. And by the end of the trip, it was really what it was. And then people went away on vacation, and it wasn't as big of an issue. And guess what? In September, everybody came back, and the issue, we started working on it again. So I just want to share this with you, because if you feel like you struggle to disconnect

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from work, there is really a truth about struggling to disconnect from work. When I went through it, it helped me to realize like you never get the moments back, so invest in the moments that you have with your loved ones, with your family and or whatever it is that you're doing, because the work is always going to be there. That's why you have a job, or that's why you have a small business. You're in the business of solving issues,

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so don't ever lose sight of that, and that's the biggest thing. So if you know anybody who's struggled to disconnect from work and let them know that they're not alone. Heck, share today's episode with them. Let them realize it, and, more importantly, use this so that you don't have to go through the same pain that I was going through in the beginning of that vacation. Eventually started recognizing that the moments are never going to come back. I started to enjoy and every summer since then, and even outside of the summers, it's helped me to really establish boundaries and reinforce those boundaries, and the problems are always going to be there. So I'll be here preparing for another episode. Hopefully you're sharing today's conversation. You're talking about this and helping us realize that you're not alone. Other people are struggling too. And yeah, we're all here together. So I'll be here preparing the next one. Go out and make it a great day. And thank you very, very much.

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Free. Today's

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conversation was sponsored by the Billy keels advisory program. If you're looking to make your nine to five optional and need some help, just go to Billy keels.com forward slash advising. Once again, that's Billy keels.com forward slash advising you

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